How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
