I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
