PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
