Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Randomize
