We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
