we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
