youre lurking in front of me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
