He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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