Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize