On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
