He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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