My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
