I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
