ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
