Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You were trust falling into bushes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
