what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
