so let's talk penis.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize