Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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