Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
