that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
