Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
