i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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