And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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