between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
