Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
