You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
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you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
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Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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