you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
