it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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