My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I want to have your abortion
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
