My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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