I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
