You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
