i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
