dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
