If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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