**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
