Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
