We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
