They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
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I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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