I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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