so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
