I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
