I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
