I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize