Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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