i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
