All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
