So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
FUCK WHALES
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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