My first STD was from a foam party
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
