Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
