We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
