I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
