I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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