she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
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tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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