I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize