everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
