i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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