She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
there was a trapeze. enough said
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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