Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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