We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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